Diary 31
September prompts from The Moon Lists, by Leigh Patterson:
01. METAMORPHOSIS
Think back to this time last year. What's something that's totally transformed?
Two things:
-How I understand & relate to romantic relationships
-My sense of buoyancy. I know that, regardless of the circumstances, I can assess how to best handle a seemingly formidable situation, & carry my weight.
02. DISCARD
Identify something that is no longer serving you.
Quit the job that I’ve had for the last three years. I woke up the other morning with this clarity about it, best described as a kind of stillness in my chest that comes after a period of intense contemplation. I just woke up that day knowing that my time with the company had grown stale. I’d accomplished what I needed to with them, & couldn’t progress any further. Felt like I’d topped a mountain & could see the land stretched out in front of me, endless paths to roam & hills to climb. Now, onto new work.
03. TALISMAN
What’s something you’d like to carry forward with you into the next season?
Righteous anger.
04. IMAGINED FUTURES
Ursula Leguin wrote, "All of us have to learn to invent our lives, make them up, imagine them.”
What’s a story you're currently telling about your future?
I have this idea that my long-term career is going to be born unconventionally. Though I’m going to college, I don’t necessarily believe that graduating is going to actualize my dream job. I’ve been telling myself that I’m going to buy a plane ticket to a politically-relevant country, & write about what I see there, then send it to newspapers. Or maybe I’ll be reading my work at an open-mic & someone in the crowd will have a position for me. That’s just two of them, but I certainly have a few narratives that I’m holding close, manifesting.
05. KNOWN UNDERSTANDING
To learn requires time; cite someone or something you’d like to invest your time getting to know.
Herbalism. Cedar Hill Homestead has been an incredible resource.
06. WAVING FROM AFAR
Select a word or theme to guide you through the next season.
”Ar scáth a chéile a mhaireann na daoine,” an Irish proverb that translates “it is in the shelter of each other that the people live.”
07. SENSE INVENTORY (From August 6th, 2022)
A sound: Howling winds (the souls of the deceased searching for new bodies), squeaking rusty metal
A smell: Sweat, saltwater
A touch: Windblown sand on bare skin
A taste: Split pea soup
A sight: Massive train trestle bridge
08. CULTURAL AUDIT
What did you culturally consume, deeply love, discover/rediscover:
Film/television: Westworld
Music: Narrow Line, Mama’s Broke
Art: Ra Paulette’s caves
Poetry: Fire, Matthew Dickman
August 8th, 2022
JT & I decided to drive to Oregon. We’re staying with his friend Joanna, but everyone refers to her as Mama Jo. And honestly “Mama Jo” has felt more comfortable for me from the beginning. She’s got a warm, nurturing, youthful spirit.
Mama Jo owns a five-acre property in Oregon, & shares the land with four dogs: Boulder, Peanuts, Potatoes, & Pepper. Pepper’s real skiddish… always at least ten feet away from us, nimble like a deer & almost spectral behind the pine trees that cover the property. She’s my favorite of all the dogs.
Today we swam for hours at a nearby river & stretched out on beds of hot, sun-soaked rocks. I didn’t have much to say, the landscape was so vast & serene. Just took it all in & swam downriver on my own. Even got a little teary-eyed at one point.