Diary 35
01. A PLAYLIST
For sitting on the porch watching a storm roll in.
The Dead Flag Blues, Godspeed You! Black Emperor
Me and the Devil, Soap&Skin
Pissing In a River, Patti Smith
My Old Kentucky Home, Johnny Cash
Mountain Saint, Ian Noe
Arrabi al Arabe, Mariem Hassan
In The Misty Garden/Should’ve Been Home With You, Blaze Foley
The Wild Rover, Lankum
Whitehouse Road, Tyler Childers
Cigarette Machine, Fred Eaglesmith
02. QUIET REVELATION
Retreated to Southern Oregon over the 4th, to a town of around 600 people, seeking quiet swimming holes & the sweeping sound of cicadas over crowded California beaches.
One evening I was out sitting in the yard watching the moon rise over the mountains. My boyfriend was in front of me, shoveling in the dark, preparing to do some planting. Our friend’s 4 dogs were running and wrestling in the dirt around us. The wind was blowing warm and soft and I could still smell some lavender from earlier on my hands.
And then all at once, I realized my head had gone silent, that I was entirely present to what was going on around me. And this all-encompassing sense of peace washed over me like I’ve never experienced before. I could discern every sound, every sight with clarity, felt alive in both my body and my mind. It was really a revelation for me.
07.08.23
I keep to myself walking into the bar at 2 p.m. past familiar faces in their worn leather seats. I recognize the punk with his husky sitting underneath his barstool and the tattooed red-haired grandma and the bartender who sells coke on the side. But I keep to myself because I don’t know these people intimately, I just know who they are in this room. And it’s not my place to ask them where they’ve come from or who they’ve loved or how long they walked to get here. I just know people are not monoliths. And with that knowledge, I leave them be. I take a seat in the muggy afternoon heat and order a beer.
07.17.23 - 07.18.23
01. Drove down to Mexico. Took three different dirt roads, (one of which passed through someone’s property and was dangerously close to the cliffside), before figuring out the correct route to our airbnb.
02. Visited a friend who let me peruse her collection of old Navajo jewelry.
03. Ambled a graveyard in Tijuana, studied the headstone engravings and sculpture.
04. Had lunch at Hotel Caesar, where the original Caesar salad was made.
07.28.23
Got caught up watching bando exploration videos deep into the night, musing over abandoned cathedrals, barns and 1600s mansions. I laid awake in bed later thinking about how objects both preserve and surpass lifetimes.